Free PDF I Have the Right To: A High School Survivor's Story of Sexual Assault, Justice, and Hope
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I Have the Right To: A High School Survivor's Story of Sexual Assault, Justice, and Hope
Free PDF I Have the Right To: A High School Survivor's Story of Sexual Assault, Justice, and Hope
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Product details
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 11 hours and 5 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
Audible.com Release Date: March 6, 2018
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B0786V76SQ
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
This is an important book for everyone to see the damaging effects of sexual assault, and the far reaching effects it has on the survivor and every loved one in her orbit. I read with great interest because my daughter attended a school in the ISL (Independent School League. The same grouping as St. Paul's). She was also a survivor of sexual assault which happened during a school sponsored program. The blame was placed squarely on the victim, her credibility and mental health were questioned, she was seen as a party pooper for ruining the school sponsored program by standing up to and identifying her attacker. She had panic attacks, her grades plummeted, she became a target for further harassment. The school was not helpful in fact they were hurtful, although recently they have made a big show of apologizing for criminal behavior that happened 40 years ago because that is painless for them to do. We have all of this in common with Ms. Prout, and many other survivors out there. I am thankful for this author to come forward and identify these patterns and to demand that boarding schools and all schools identify their huge role in the problem. And it's a big problem. Parents beware of these schools. The education is great, but if you loose your soul in the process, it is simply not worth it.
I wasn't expecting to read Chessy Prout's entire book the day it was published, but it's 4:30pm on March 6, and I did spend the whole day reading it. Once I started, I just couldn't stop.There is incredible courage in Chessy's openness -- her willingness to share so many details of what happened, how she felt, her interactions with the school, with the assailant, her friends, etc. She is not afraid to explain that there is no such thing as a "perfect victim." But the line that stuck with me was this: "Rape is not a punishment for poor judgment." This is so important for everyone, especially sexual assault victims, to understand.She also reveals the organizational/systemic rot that breeds this kind of behavior in institutions, St. Paul's School, in this case. The social reward structure that encourages rape. The apathetic administration in which no one wants to be the person responsible for dealing with this epidemic (and so they all turn a blind eye). The bullying and shaming that terrorize and silence survivors of sexual assault. These are things that CAN and MUST be changed. But they will change only when those in power take responsibility for what is happening, rather turning a blind and then, when they absolutely must respond, writing another email with a subject line like, "We're shocked...SHOCKED...to learn of this isolated incident." No one is shocked. And these incidents aren't isolated. We will have made real progress when that email subject line reads "Wow. We REALLY messed up, and we are so sorry. And here's how we're going to fix this enormous problem."The book is written by a young person and it feels very authentic. It is categorized as a Young Adults book, but I can think of a lot of Old Adults who should be reading it.
This book was eye opening! It certainly proves,those of us fortunate enough not to have experienced what this young girl went through truly have no idea of the effect it has on the victim. I was glued to this book and almost disappointed when I reached the ending.The way Chessy wrote makes you feel you also are going through this ugly experience. God Bless this girl for getting her story out and doing it with much class and dignity. All young women should read this book.
I should start by saying that I purchased this book after hearing a brief promotional interview with Chessy on the Daily Show. This entire huge topic about misogyny, rape culture, and sexual assault has been widely discussed in the news, on talk shows, & on social media & frankly, experienced by a large segment of our population, thus my students (I am a high school librarian) are interested in it as well.To lay the foundation of her story, Chessy starts a few years before the assault when her family is still living in Japan. It gives insight into her life and family dynamics.Chessy's assault occurs at an elite boarding school and I will admit that when she started to describe the environment and lifestyle of the students I thought; I cannot relate to this at all & I don't think it will resonate with my students. There were also parts in the story where I thought to myself; you shouldn't be doing that, it will lead to trouble or send the wrong message. It is hard to admit that I would have those thoughts despite my ardent support of sexual assault survivors & personal experience; but decades of a culture blaming women and victims is hard to move away from subconsciously. As a woman I have internalized all of the red flags, the things one should not do in order to stay safe.The truth is, it doesn't matter if you flirt or accept a date or even sext; if you do not consent to sex or a sexual encounter it is not your fault and it isn't something that should naturally unfold from the circumstances. I think date rape is still one of the harder hurdles to get over in our society. We understand stranger rape as wrong, but date rape is often explained away as having grey areas or as a misunderstanding.At some point in her story it didn't matter how elite her school was or how much money Chessy's family had- it was still another story of a girl being raped, her experience, and the aftermath of bullying and ostracization from her school community when she reported. Chessy was "lucky " in that she was actually able to seek justice since her case went to court. Only a very small number of sexual assault cases make it that far.*I think I cried through the whole second half of the book.*I want to say that Chessy repeatedly points out that she understands her privilege based on her status and class. Her family could afford to fly up for every court hearing, to rent a house in the city of the trial and have her whole family with her, to have connections that could help her discover information, combat cyber-bullying etc. Most families do not have access to these resources. Does her status make her story less worthwhile? No.Even with her privilege, it was still a painful and very difficult process. In fact, in some ways I think the power the school community wielded with their money & status to embrace her attacker and blame the victim added to the pain of the experience for Chessy & her family. One of the things that I took away from this was the way Chessy and her family were galvanized to learn from their experiences and help educate others. I think that is one of the things that makes this tale different from others; our ability to see Chessy and her family move through the whole process together and how they chose to move forward in their lives, forever changed by one night and a community's ensuing response to the event. We cannot all become advocates or hashtag trendsetters, but we do need stories of those who are able to do so. Obviously, the best case scenario would be that there were no more sexual assaults. But barring that, a more survivor friendly system, a society that does not shame victims, and examples of how to move forward after an assault are sorely needed. I think that is why this story ended up resonating with and moving me after all. A very powerful read.
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